When you are not present, you become a victim of time. Your mind is in control and it pulls you into the past or future. Identifying impending dangers through associations with things that has happened in the past is important for self-preservation. But when your life becomes dictated by thoughts and emotions which are attached to past events and possible future outcomes, you lack peace. You can only find peace in the present moment but you are not present. You are lost in thought, dominated by the mind, The habit is to zoom off in your head, struggling with the past, thinking all sorts of negativity or becoming anxious and fearful of the future. If you were to be present, you arrive at your natural state where you become a space for what happens. In that state, you and the present moment are one.
Life unfolds in the present moment but we often let life slip by away since we are not grounded in the moment. When you are at work, you fantasize about being on vacation with your loved ones. When you are on vacation, you worry about work piling up on your desk. You can only live in the Now but the Now is and you are not present, so, you are not really living. When we centre ourselves in the present moment, the mind stops its noise-making. By becoming present, the distraction of your mind ceases. When this happens, you awaken and are more alive if I may say so. You are then able to connect with your deeper self, your true self.
One may think that being present means losing the power to make things happen. Let us say you have a set goal you want to achieve. Whatever action you carry out towards achieving this goal will be done in the present moment. The more present you are in the moment of carrying out an action towards your goal, the more powerful your action will be. Your action may even cause something more than what you expected to manifest. The more you are present, the better the quality of your doing. Life will then take care of the result. Being present is much more beneficial to you than you think.
You are in a relationship but you have fear. You have fear that one day your partner will leave you and you will be all alone. How does your mind solve the problem? It worries. That is not a solution. Worrying compounds the problem. Your mind worries about what has not happened. By worrying, you act out of fear and your actions become hostile to your partner who you already see leaving you in the future even though he is here with you in the present. So, you become hostile, your partner gets fed up with your hostility and sees a reason to leave you and actually ends up leaving you. “I said it that she would leave me someday,” you say. “Now she is gone.” Your ego makes you blind to so that you are unable to see that your fear and the hostility that followed gave her reasons to leave. This is how your fear ends up making what you fear will happen actually happening. When you are not present, your fear fulfills that which you fear and you are unaware that your actions contributed to it. If you can let go of the thought of your partner leaving you and not worry about whether she will stay or leave in the future but rather be present with your partner when she is with you, you deepen the relationship. When she is with you, give her your full attention. Full attention is full presence.
When both of you are present with each other and you communicate with openness and sincerity, both of you end up in communion. Now you do not bother about your partner staying or leaving but you give your partner attention. Your partner therefore has little or no reason to leave. If you are present but your partner is mind-dominated, she may actually leave you. Unconsciousness cannot stand consciousness for long. It is either your consciousness pulls your partner out of unconsciousness so that she becomes conscious or she leaves. If she leaves, you have no reason to worry, there is no pain. Maybe God wants to create a space for someone conscious to move into your life. In that case, you enjoy a better relationship. In the end, presence benefits you and it manifests in external situations. This is not just true for your relationship but is also true for your business, studies, and other areas of your life.