Internal Turmoil : A Signal of Separation from God
We are created in the image and likeness of God. At the level of “being,” not “human,” we are one with God. You are because God enables you to be. If God does not enable you, you simply will not exist. Hence at your deepest level of being what should one find? God. God is your root. You are therefore in God.
In this world, you have an identity. You may be a mother, a father, a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, a businessman. That is your identity at the level of “human” or at the level of form. The nature of form is such that it changes. Every form changes form. You are at home with your children and then you are a father. You are with your wife and then you are a husband. When you drive to work, you are a driver. And at work, you are an engineer. This is how your identity at the level of “human” changes. Your human identity however is not your ultimate identity.
Many people who are looking for themselves are seeking for themselves at the level of human without knowing it. They ask themselves, “Who am I?” and they give themselves an answer. After some time, they give themselves another answer. Before you know it, they have yet another answer. Why is the answer changing? Because the person is seeking his true identity, his ultimate identity, at the level of human where nothing is permanent. When you identify with forms, you seem lost. To “find” yourself you have to go beyond the human, you have to go beyond forms.
At the root of the sea wave is the sea. We can say that the identity of the sea wave is rooted in the sea. The identity of the sun ray is rooted in the sun. Your true identity, your ultimate identity, is rooted in God. What the sun ray is to the sun is what you are to God. God is your “home.”
Your being is one with God and you ought to have that sense of being one with God. Many people do not have this sense of oneness with God. Do you? You do not sense your oneness with God because something is obstructing you from that. Actually a lot of forms may obstruct your sense of oneness with God but at the fundamental level there is something that happens, something which is your greatest obstacle to sensing your oneness with God. That “something” is mind-identification. What is mind-identification? It is a state of compulsive thinking in which you believe you are your mind, hence you believe the content of your mind.
You are one with God but when you are mind-identified, you separate yourself from God. A gap is created between you and God. The love of God is such that even when you have separated yourself from him, he goes after you. He sends you signals that tell you that you have deviated. You feel off. When you are one with God, you have joy and you have peace. Those are signals of your oneness with God. When you are separated from God, something arises which was not there when you were one with God – internal turmoil. Internal turmoil is one of our greatest signals of our separation from God.